Welcome back! Now that we have gotten over our fear of the words submit and respect, we can safely move on.
When I first started this journey, I was curious how it was going to play out. You see, I have such a very dominate personality and my husband has a VERY laid back personality. To say that we are opposites would be putting it lightly. I am naturally a leader. I always assumed that Daddy T was just content being a follower. I didn't understand how that could be changed or even why that should be changed. I knew that I wanted my marriage to glorify God. I just didn't know how to go about it.
In the beginning, things were awkward! I didn't really know how to act. How was I to give up control to my laid back husband? I prayed about it a lot! I started watching myself to see when and where I could implement change. I found it!
Along with my natural leadership, came control. I didn't realize how bad it was until we were driving to my parent's house one Sunday. I began to nag my husband about how fast he was going, which way to turn, and to watch out for that truck. It was like he had never driven before. The Lord very clearly laid upon my heart just exactly how disrespectful this was. (EVEN IF I WAS RIGHT) If I couldn't trust my husband to drive me safely to my parent's house, how on earth was I going to be able to trust him with the bigger things? Obviously, Daddy T knows how to drive! He actually did so for a living for almost 10 years, but here I was thinking that I needed to control the situation. I decided that day to give up control in that area.
I asked T for forgiveness and prayed for God to forgive me and to help me to keep my mouth shut. I still struggle with this. I am learning to let go. Even if Daddy T takes a few wrong turns, gets pulled over, drives behind a truck or any other thing that I would never do, he is still leading me! It may not be my way, but we will still arrive to our destination.
Like Daddy T informed me one day, he works hard for the money that he makes,and if he gets pulled over because he got a little lead footed, then he will pay the ticket. WOW! What a concept!
There have been other areas in my life that have followed suit. I no longer tell him how annoyed his dirty socks on the floor make me. God is pressing on my heart even now to use those as prayer reminders for my husband.
You see, it starts small. If you are really gutsy, ask your husband to name 1 thing that you do that makes him feel belittled or disrespected. Change that one thing. The rest will follow. Remember this isn't an overnight change. We live in a society that says that females are the strong, smart ones and that the men are to cater to them. It's hard to change a lifelong mindset.
Start today, find that one thing that you are going to change. Commit it to the Lord. Find a friend to help keep you accountable. Go one step further and keep it a secret from your husband for a bit. Watch his eyes the next time you go for a drive, and you sit quietly on the passengers side of the car just enjoying the view!
This week I pray that God will reveal to you the areas in which you need a heart change towards your husband. I pray that you will have the strength and the want to to make those changes. I pray that you will not grow weary in well doing!
Until next week...
"And let us not grow weary while doing good,
for in due season we shall reap
if we do not lose heart."