Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Jesus on Every Page

That I would see Jesus on every page. That was her prayer for me. I knew that He was there in the beginning. I knew that He was a part of it all, but to actually see Him in every page of scripture? That seemed a bit far fetched. 

For the last year I have been trying to sort out some things in my life. I have been digging to find answers to so many questions that had been plaguing me. I've been determined to know what I truly believe. I am beginning to find that some of my beliefs were blind. I was believing them because that is what I was taught. Now,....well, now I'm not so sure. I have been searching. Trying to seek out the truth. I desire a deeper walk. I want to really know who God is. I want to have a real prayer life. I am HUNGRY! 

If you have been following me at all lately, you know that God has been getting my attention. He is actively seeking me too! I have been getting a crash course in trusting Him. My behind the scenes isn't easy.

To be frank, because I'm not sure I can be any other way right now, I had gotten bored with the Old Testament.  I loved reading about Jesus and His miracles. I was called to be like Him, so, studying Him only seemed like the next logical step. For me, He was found in the New Testament.
My friend is a Messianic Jew. I know that a lot of you want to stop reading here, please don't. I'm not going where you think that I am. Please, stay with me. 
We have been going to Shabbat (Sabbath) on Friday nights with her and her family. It is a time to be refreshed, to worship God, and I enjoy being challenged in my beliefs. It causes me to dig and get scripture to back what I believe. Sometimes, I find that I am wrong and have twisted or misread something. Sometimes, we simply agree to disagree. This isn't about who is right and who is wrong. This isn't about 'converting' anyone. This is about 'iron sharpening iron.'  This is a safe place where I can ask questions, search scripture and pray with fellow believers, because our core faith beliefs are still the same. 
One afternoon, about a month ago, when Heather and I were talking about a section of scripture that we were reading, I began to express my complacency with the Old Testament. She didn't judge or act shocked. I told her that I had really been enjoying the Friday nights, but there is no way I could be Messianic. I was a New Testament Christian. She was so patient with me. She paused, and after about a minute, she told me that that was not her goal at all. She wasn't trying to get me to come to Synagogue or anything to do with the Messianic. Her only prayer for me was that I "would see Jesus on every page." She longed for me to not just have the head knowledge that He was there, but for me to actually see Him there! I thought she was crazy. 

Here I am a few weeks later, I am still searching. I am still digging. I do not have all the answers. Heather and I have agreed to disagree more than once. BUT I am growing. I am finally getting that walk that I only dreamed of. I am studying the Old Testament. I am starting to see Jesus. I am starting to understand. 

What does this mean for my future? I'm not sure. Here is what I am sure of:

I believe that Jesus is the son of God. That He came to earth and lived a sinless life. He died on the cross, was buried, and 3 days later He rose again! I believe that He is at the right hand of God. I believe that one day, very soon, He is coming back, and that I will get to be with Him in Heaven because He lives inside of me. He is my best friend. I believe that everyone has that choice and opportunity as well if they will simply accept Him.  Either way, I believe that one day 'every knee shall bow and every tongue shall confess."  

These is my core faith beliefs they will not ever change! The rest, I am still searching for truth. I am still learning. I have other things that are strong beliefs that haven't changed, but those are just extras!

I am starting to see Jesus on every page! I pray that you will seek and find Him too! Matthew 7:7-8 says:

“Keep asking, and it will be given to you; keep seeking, and you will find; keep knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who keeps asking receives; he who keeps seeking finds; and to him who keeps knocking, the door will be opened.