Friday, February 12, 2016

My Overwhelming Secret

I am so careful about this topic. I have avoided posting it the entire time I have been writing. After Sunday School last week, I knew that I could no longer be silent!

I sat in a room of married couples as we talked about marriage and how Satan attacks us at every turn. We discussed how when, as husband and wife, we are fighting, we need to remember that we are on the same side and have a common enemy. The conversation progressed through the hour until finally landing on a topic that I have kept taboo for far too long: depression.

The more I get to know other women who share my faith in Christ, the more I find that this is a common theme. I have spent some time really seeking God in this area for years. I just do not understand how we women can be so trapped in the lies that Satan tells us. I am not pointing fingers here! I am coming from a place of desperation! I have wasted too many years fighting this battle with depression. I have allowed Satan to steal too many precious years from me and my family! Not anymore!!!! 

I have found a song that speaks so deeply to me in this area. It is my hearts cry right now. I would like to share the lyrics along with my prayers. At the end I will have a video of the song for you to hear it.  I pray that this can minister to other moms out there fighting the same battle that I am!

"Move, Or Move Me"
by FFH

I can't find the words to pray, I'm a little down today
Can You help me? Can You hold me?
I feel a million miles away, And I don't know what to say
Can You hear me anyway?

This is how depression makes me feel. Like I cannot connect with God or anyone for that matter. 
So many times I have cried out asking God if He was there. "Can You hear me?" "Do You even care?"
I know that He cares. I know that He hears me even when I am in the pit. Satan just tries to get me to doubt. 

What I need is for You to reach out Your hand
You have taught me no matter what You'd understand.

My prayer is that He would pull me out of this pit to the safety of His arms.

Lord move in the way, that I've never seen before
Cause there's a mountain in the way and a lock on the door
I'm drifting away, waves are crashing on the shore
So Lord move (move), or move me.

The drifting. Even since I have become aware of this battle, I still experience it. I pray that I am more able to combat it through prayer and praise. Some days are harder than others. It is a scary feeling that requires me to truly focus on God to avoid.

I've looked every where to find a simple peace of mind
But, I can't find nothing on my own
So I gotta leave myself behind, take up this cross of mine
Give away everything I hold onto

I have searched everywhere and tried everything to get that peace of mind. Have you? I have been exhausted mentally and physically. My heart longed for release from it all! 
Two weeks ago, my pastor reminded me that I have to turn to God! He is the only One who can give me that peace of mind, that release that I am longing for.

Lord I know the only way is through this
But Lord, I know I need You to help me do this

This!!! This thought, this prayer, this part: it's hard! Through! Seriously!!! I just want God to reach down and lift me out of it! Remove the pain. I want freedom.

God very lovingly let me know that this is part of my trusting Him that I am focusing on this year! 

On Wednesday night, our pastor taught on Mark 4:35-41 about when Jesus calmed the storm. At the end of his teaching time he prayed that when the battles get too hard, that God would carry us through the storm. This is now my prayer!

I need to learn to lean on Him, to allow Him to carry me through those tough days when I start to feel the drifting. To let go of all of me, ignore Satan and his lies, and focus my attention and my heart on my Savior! He died for me to have freedom, not to live in this bondage! 

This is my prayer for anyone else who is fighting this battle. One of the lies that Satan has used to keep us in bondage is that this is a taboo topic. Not anymore! I am blowing the lid off the secret can! I am praying for people to unite and fight this lie. 
I am praying for any of you who are in the same struggle that I am. You are not alone!!! God wants you to know that He is there with you even now, waiting for you to cry out to Him.

 I am praying for you!

Thursday, February 11, 2016

Sister's Favorite Book!

This post contains affiliate links. See disclosure page for more information.

It is another amazing creation from The Thinking Tree. This time the creator is Laura Brown. She has put together a book for horse lovers like herself to enjoy.  

When I first saw this book, I knew that Sister would fall in love! I was right! This has quickly become her favorite book. She oohs and ahhs over all the beautiful pictures. 

This is her favorite page. "Look, Mommy, it's a pony. That's a baby horsey!" 

The pictures are simply beautiful! Sister has looked at this book over and over! She loves the full color pictures of these wonderful horses. 

Along with the beautiful pictures,
 there are facts about the Akhal-Teke horse. Below the fact is a place for her to practice drawing the horse or write more facts about them as she gets older and begins to research them for herself. 

The Thinking Tree has several other horse books that are on my wish list. With Sister's love of horses, these are sure to be great resources for her school days! Below are some links where you can get your copies of these Thinking Tree books!


I am linked up with Linda over at Homeschooling 6. you can join us by clicking the link below:


Sunday, February 7, 2016

My Midnights with Jesus: Psalm 37:7

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Welcome back! How was your first week of intentionally seeking God? If I am to be completely honest here, I had a rough week. I was only successful a couple of days. I had to fight to have alone time to seek Him! It was not easy at all! 

I chose to use my Bible Time Journal from The Thinking Tree to journal my time. I love that the pages are small. It helps me to not get overwhelmed. I was able to focus on smaller bites. I found that I was more successful at really meditating on just a portion of His word at a time. I think I got more out of the verses that I studied!

My focus ended up being on Psalm 37:1-9. I could not get enough of these verses. I love how God wove both my time of intentionally seeking Him and my word for the year together beautifully! 

Verse 3 really stuck out to me this week. 

"Trust in the Lord and do good..."

The simplicity here just really got to me. His command for me is simple. 

1. Trust Him.- This is my word-trust! How simple it sounds, but as I am learning it is harder to live out. Verse 8 says " not fret.." God really spoke to me here. He reminded me that when I fret I am not trusting Him. YIKES! The rest of verse 8 says that fretting leads to evil deeds. OUCH! That is not a path I want to continue on.

2. Do good.  Okay, this is such a simple thought. Yet, as most of us know, this is not easy either. I need to remember that doing good is the simplest form of obedience. 

Verse 7 did not escape me either. The truth was a hard one.

3. Resting in Him. I must commit my days to Him, I must! This week was filled with bad attitudes, tears, and at times, downright chaos! I was exhausted by noon most days. I began to realize that I cannot rest if I don't give Him my days. Too often this week I found myself fighting through the day. I was exhausted and frustrated. On those days, I needed to take a moment and give the day to Him. He wants to direct my steps. He wants to give me rest, but He won't force me to give it all to Him. I have to choose to let it all go! Only then will I find rest in Him!  

I love that even though I only completed a few days this week, He still used it! He met me where I was! I can't wait to see how much more He pours into me as I seek Him and my time becomes more consistent!

This next week our focus verse is Psalm 105:4
"Seek the Lord, and His strength:
Seek His face forever."

If you are new and you still want to join us, you can find an overview and a free printable pdf of the verses for the month here.

 I can't wait to hear what you received! Be sure to link-up with me!

I am linked-up over at Mama's Coffee Shop. Come visit me, just click below!

I am also linked up at Modest Mom's Blog: