Do you ever feel like you are in rush hour learning when it comes to God? Like everything has a lesson that you seem to be learning the hard way?
That is how my life has been feeling for the past couple of months. Between financial situations, B running away, a stomach virus sweeping through our house, and Daddy T falling off of a ladder at work, overwhelmed would be an understatement. Each problem seemed to compound on the next. There were times I didn't even feel like I had the energy to pray.
I felt like 2 Corinthians 4:8-9 were talking about my life:
I could not see a way out.
My first major cry out to God happened the night that B was found (see here). I began to pray in line with the Word of God. I was desperate. My weakness opened up the ability for God to take over and make His strength known.
My next breakthrough came when God used a conversation that I had with one of my friends about people not accepting help when they need it. We talked about how there comes a point when refusing help becomes pride. That night God revealed to me that there was pride in my heart in this very area. You see, I was so caught up with the sheer volume of the problem that when God presented multiple ways of help to me through my husband I shunned them. I thought that God would provide by means of more hours for Daddy T. I didn't want to ask for help. We weren't that bad off... Somewhere along the way, pride had taken up roots.
I had to repent from this pride, humble myself, and ask for help. When I was willing, God was more than able!!!
At some point during this whole thing, I began reading a book, that I will be reviewing on here soon, call "Life, Love & Dyslexia: Sarah's Journal' by Sarah Janisse Brown. In her book she tells of ways that God provided for her. I'm talking BIG stuff! I saw her faith, her walk, and I longed for that kind of relationship with my Father again.
As I began to pray and seek God for this kind of walk, I asked Him to give the hunger for Him, His Word, and a deep intimate relationship with Him. I want to go deeper!!! All I heard was "Be Specific." I asked Him what that meant? Specific how, in my prayer time, in studying, with friends and family? All I got in return, "Be Specific!" I am taking it as an all over the board command! That night I prayed some very big, bold, specific prayers for myself and my family. My study time is changing to. I'm looking at specific times that God fulfilled His word to His people.
I am seeing the light at the end of this long tunnel! November is going to be a good month in the Crunchy house! We are seeking God in a new way, a specific way. We are rejoicing as we are watching Him move mountains for us and provide for us in BIG ways.
I am praying specifically for you this week too! That if you are in the same boat that we were in the last few months, that God will show Himself BIG to you. I am also asking for a hunger in your hearts and lives to live for Him, to desire Him and His Words, and to seek Him on a deeper level!