Baby Fever Update
It is one of the most viewed posts that I have ever shared. Even today when I read it, I feel the raw emotion all over again: Baby Fever.
I cannot believe that it has been 6 years since I wrote that post. Life has been busy and full since that September night. I have cried out to the Lord many times about that very subject. I decided that I should revisit this and share an update.
I don't exactly know when things began to change. I can't pinpoint an exact moment where Thomas came to me and expressed that he too had regrets, but that is exactly where he landed! The Father moved in his heart and changed it to match the desires of mine! My prayers had been answered!...but now what?
We weren't sure what would come next on this journey. We began to pray for direction. We wanted to move forward, but not ahead of God! We wanted more children, but only in His timing and in His way. Neither of us were sure what that even looked like...
This past March we packed up our 2100sqft home and moved our now family of 5 (Bailey has moved out and is in college) into a 350sqft travel trailer on 7.5 acres while we remodeled a house. We were so excited to provide our 3 younger kiddos with the childhood we longed for them to have. One where they could explore creek banks, climb trees, and simply be in and among creation!
Little did we know that on June 17th we would get a phone call that rocked our world, answered our prayers, and set us on a journey that would grow our faith in ways that we never dreamed!
There was this little girl that my sister-in-law had been fostering, whom we all loved, that was in need of a forever home. Now, because we are family and already had a relationship with her, the court appointed mediator was asking us if we would be interested in adopting her.
**Insert deep breath**
That day still plays in slow motion in my mind. Here I was 6 years after I prayed that prayer staring an answer in the face, but the obstacles, the road blocks, the red tape....the unfinished house! How would we ever get it all finished in time? Could we?
I remember the prayers that I prayed that day. I remember the nerves. It is all etched in my mind permanently. Could this really happen? I certainly could not see a way. I am so thankful that none of this, except choosing to say YES, was up to me!
The next few months were filled with court dates where words like termination, permanency, and transition were used. Of course, nothing is ever simple in the world of adoption where the very word is born from brokenness and loss. I grieved for my daughter. I felt helpless and selfish all at the same time. I longed for this process to be over and the house to be finished. I didn't want to wait or have to feel all the feelings that were involved.
That was until the day that I was reminded that this sweet girl didn't ask for any of this! She didn't ask for foster care, or court dates. This amazingly precious child, the one that I have grown to love with every ounce of my being, deserves someone to fight through the hard for her, to feel the hard for her, to walk this journey, regardless of the outcome, for HER!
So next week, we will walk into a courtroom and fight through the hard, for her! I pray that this will be a day that is celebrated. A day where she is placed in our home for trail adoption. I know that it could be the day that the judge says 'No' and we must begin to process a loss that is completely out of our control. With this kind of adoption, there is just no certainty of knowing.
However, of this I am certain, that I serve an Almighty God! He has asked me to walk this road. So today, I will take the next step in faith, knowing that He will catch me if I fall. He will be there in the hard, in the raw emotional moments! He never fails! I cannot walk this path alone, and though there are still times that I pray for Him to give me strength or take away this pain...this hard, I must remember:
2 Corinthians 12:9 (NKJV) "And He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities that the power of Christ may rest upon me."
I cannot believe that it has been 6 years since I wrote that post. Life has been busy and full since that September night. I have cried out to the Lord many times about that very subject. I decided that I should revisit this and share an update.
I don't exactly know when things began to change. I can't pinpoint an exact moment where Thomas came to me and expressed that he too had regrets, but that is exactly where he landed! The Father moved in his heart and changed it to match the desires of mine! My prayers had been answered!...but now what?
We weren't sure what would come next on this journey. We began to pray for direction. We wanted to move forward, but not ahead of God! We wanted more children, but only in His timing and in His way. Neither of us were sure what that even looked like...
This past March we packed up our 2100sqft home and moved our now family of 5 (Bailey has moved out and is in college) into a 350sqft travel trailer on 7.5 acres while we remodeled a house. We were so excited to provide our 3 younger kiddos with the childhood we longed for them to have. One where they could explore creek banks, climb trees, and simply be in and among creation!
Little did we know that on June 17th we would get a phone call that rocked our world, answered our prayers, and set us on a journey that would grow our faith in ways that we never dreamed!
There was this little girl that my sister-in-law had been fostering, whom we all loved, that was in need of a forever home. Now, because we are family and already had a relationship with her, the court appointed mediator was asking us if we would be interested in adopting her.
**Insert deep breath**
That day still plays in slow motion in my mind. Here I was 6 years after I prayed that prayer staring an answer in the face, but the obstacles, the road blocks, the red tape....the unfinished house! How would we ever get it all finished in time? Could we?
I remember the prayers that I prayed that day. I remember the nerves. It is all etched in my mind permanently. Could this really happen? I certainly could not see a way. I am so thankful that none of this, except choosing to say YES, was up to me!
The next few months were filled with court dates where words like termination, permanency, and transition were used. Of course, nothing is ever simple in the world of adoption where the very word is born from brokenness and loss. I grieved for my daughter. I felt helpless and selfish all at the same time. I longed for this process to be over and the house to be finished. I didn't want to wait or have to feel all the feelings that were involved.
That was until the day that I was reminded that this sweet girl didn't ask for any of this! She didn't ask for foster care, or court dates. This amazingly precious child, the one that I have grown to love with every ounce of my being, deserves someone to fight through the hard for her, to feel the hard for her, to walk this journey, regardless of the outcome, for HER!
So next week, we will walk into a courtroom and fight through the hard, for her! I pray that this will be a day that is celebrated. A day where she is placed in our home for trail adoption. I know that it could be the day that the judge says 'No' and we must begin to process a loss that is completely out of our control. With this kind of adoption, there is just no certainty of knowing.
However, of this I am certain, that I serve an Almighty God! He has asked me to walk this road. So today, I will take the next step in faith, knowing that He will catch me if I fall. He will be there in the hard, in the raw emotional moments! He never fails! I cannot walk this path alone, and though there are still times that I pray for Him to give me strength or take away this pain...this hard, I must remember:
2 Corinthians 12:9 (NKJV) "And He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities that the power of Christ may rest upon me."
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