Growing Pains

This week has been hard in so many ways. On one hand, I am so excited to finally have sweet little A in our home. On the other, all the big emotions! To say that adoption emotions are complex would win the understatement-of-the-year award. The exhaustion that follows these emotions makes me understand why some moms experience post adoption depression the way bio moms experience postpartum depression. This is hard!

I'm grieving the loss of her first family while being excited that she's finally here. Add to that being fully aware that this is not yet permanent....my head is swirling and my heart is aching. I'm learning to lean on my heavenly Father in ways I never knew before. My faith has been and is being stretched with each new day that I walk this journey out. 

Daily, I'm being reminded that "His grace is sufficient for me and His power is made perfect in my weakness. "(2 Corinthians 12:9 my paraphrase). I'm learning to "trust Him and not lean on my own understanding of current circumstances" (Proverbs 3:5-6 again, my paraphrase). 

This year, my word was growth. I knew there would be growing pains and hard moments.  Nothing could have prepared me for all this.....this hard! And yet, here I am walking, one day at a time, sometimes blindly, this path that God has placed before me. 

I do not know what the final outcome will be. I cannot even guess or say that I'm hoping for one outcome over another. I just know, that whatever happens over these next few months, I know Who is in control! I'm praying His will, in every area of this journey, be done.