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Friday, April 19, 2013

Struggling

It's supposed to be a good thing, this learning to be crunchy! I know that it is for the best! However, tonight I sit here struggling. I am drinking my nightly cup of coffee and just finished a Nutella sandwich. Nope, not healthy or whole! I know that I should just throw it out, but Nutella is my favorite! Yes, I am aware that it contains more sugar than icing, but for some reason that doesn't stop me. Not just that, I am addicted to Dr Pepper. In no small way. I get massive migraine headaches that put me out of commission for hours and sometimes days if I go too long without it. I have successfully quit smoking cold turkey before, but for some reason, this seems like an impossible feat to me.
I started this journey for my 4-year-old. He has a sensory sensitivity. His occupational therapist is hesitant to diagnose actual SPD, but this momma is pretty sure of it. Anyway, I have read TONS of information on Sensory Processing Disorder and the ways to help children effectively cope with it. One of the key things that so many people have said, is that when they removed all the processed foods, artificial dyes, and toxins they say huge differences in their children. I have tried everything else, so I decided to try this! I have spent more nights praying and in tears over the meltdowns that he experiences. I felt like God was leading me into this natural lifestyle.
That being said, I am not a wasteful person. I was raised with the 'waste not, want not' motto drilled into me!  My granny, who just recently went to be with her Jesus, grew-up during the Depression and, oh, the stories that I have heard. I was taught not to be wasteful and to always be thankful for food to eat. It is almost impossible for this mom to throw away perfectly edible food. I can't say 'good' food, because according to my new world of whole foods, Nutella does not fit in the 'good' category.
So, I pray for grace. I pray that by the time I reach the bottom of the jar or the end of the 24 pack I will have slowly weaned myself and kicked my bad-for-me habits. I am doing it for my son because I believe that is what my Father in Heaven has directed me to do. For this reason, I move forward in my pursuit of going natural. I have even started to be a little creative with new recipes, that I will share in future posts. My cleaning supplies are evolving (also a future post).  My world is becoming a cleaner, safer, greener place for my family!

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